{"id":2515,"date":"2018-02-14T16:52:20","date_gmt":"2018-02-14T21:52:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.pts.edu\/blog\/?p=2515"},"modified":"2021-01-28T15:59:47","modified_gmt":"2021-01-28T20:59:47","slug":"dust-ash-wednesday","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pts.edu\/blog\/dust-ash-wednesday\/","title":{"rendered":"Facing the Dust Together: What Kate Bowler\u2019s “Everything Happens for a Reason (And Other Lies I\u2019ve Loved)” Taught Me about Ash Wednesday"},"content":{"rendered":"

For a few years, my middle child was afraid of Ash Wednesday. He\u2019d sit patiently through the homily, mumble along with Psalm 51 as best he could, but balk at the main event: the imposition of ashes. So he\u2019d stay behind in the pew while his brother, sister, and whichever parent wasn\u2019t leading worship filed forward to receive the oily, ashy smudge.<\/p>\n

The mystery of his fear was finally solved, when he asked, \u201cDoesn\u2019t it hurt?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat makes you think it hurts?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cAshes are hot.\u201d<\/p>\n

I could see the undulating glow of burning embers in his imagination, and I understood.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, no,\u201d I said. \u201cWe order them, and they come in the mail in a tiny plastic bag. They haven\u2019t been hot for a long time.\u201d<\/p>\n

But in a way, he was right. The words we hear on Ash Wednesday as a finger traces a cross on our foreheads\u2014Remember you are dust, and to dust you shall return<\/em>\u2014are scorching words. Who would choose to come forward as the curtain is pulled back, and we glimpse the future, our <\/em>futures: dust?<\/p>\n

On the other hand, which is worse: walking with others to stare down our common destiny, joining the people of God in rehearsal for the time when each of us will have to confront this truth\u2014dust<\/em>\u2014for ourselves; or staying behind, contemplating mortality alone?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Facing Dust<\/h2>\n

Not everyone gets to choose. Last week I read the stunning memoir, Everything Happens for a Reason (and Other Lies I\u2019ve Loved)<\/em>, by Kate Bowler, a professor at Duke Divinity School, who was diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer at the age of 35.<\/p>\n

She didn\u2019t have the luxury of staying in the pew. The ashes came for her.<\/p>\n

I loved the book because it beautifully displays the struggle of facing the dust without easy answers. As a scholar of the prosperity gospel, Bowler knows what Christianity-with-answers looks like: If you have the right faith and pray the right way, God will heal you. As much as she\u2019d like to believe this, especially when she imagines leaving behind her husband and young son, she knows it\u2019s false. The truth is more beautiful, and more difficult: \u201cGod is here. We are loved. It is enough.\u201d<\/p>\n

I also loved the supporting characters, the friends who choose to walk with Bowler in the valley of the shadow of death as far as they can even though they have nothing to offer\u2014no magical incantations, no curative essential oils, no prescriptions for joy\u2014but their wholehearted presence.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s Frank, a seminary colleague of Bowler\u2019s and a Lutheran minister. \u201cWhen my older colleague Frank, who lost his own adult son, found his way into my hospital room, he wrapped his strong hands around mine and said, quietly: \u2018I wore this clerical collar to impress you. And also to get through hospital security.\u2019\u201d Presence. Connection. Humor.<\/p>\n

And there\u2019s Ray, a friend and pediatric oncologist. Ray has been in the room countless times with parents, sharing good news and bad; he\u2019s watched patients recover and eased their dying; he\u2019s one of the few people with whom Bowler can share the depths of her fear. \u201c\u2018Are you okay?\u2019 he asks. \u2018Yes, yes, I\u2019m okay. Except for about 10 minutes a day, I\u2019m okay.\u2019 Anyone else would have left it at that. He looks at me carefully. \u2018What does it look like? Those 10 minutes?\u2019 he asks.\u201d Not anyone could stay with her to hear her answer, but Ray does.<\/p>\n

I found myself choking up as Bowler shares these encounters, because the miracle of Frank\u2019s and Ray\u2019s capacity to enter her suffering, without trying to fix her, testifies to the beauty of what she\u2019s discovering: God is here. We are loved. It is enough.<\/p>\n

Simone Weil, the 20th<\/sup> Century philosophy and mystic, said, \u201cThe capacity to give one\u2019s attention to a sufferer is a very rare and difficult thing; it is almost a miracle; it is <\/em>a miracle.\u201d<\/p>\n

There is such hope and beauty in the quiet folks who show up, love, and dwell with Bowler in the place of dust.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Facing Ash Wednesday Together<\/h2>\n

Can Ash Wednesday be that kind of place?<\/p>\n

Maybe the value of Ash Wednesday is not just the practice it gives us in acknowledging and facing our own mortality. Maybe it\u2019s that we do it together, that we walk with one another toward the man or woman in the robes and with the darkened fingertip ready to mark us and utter those scorching words.<\/p>\n

And maybe the power of Ash Wednesday is that we are brave enough to eavesdrop as someone beside us\u2014a husband, wife, partner, parent, child\u2014hears those portentous words as well.<\/p>\n

And we don\u2019t recoil from them; and they don\u2019t from us.<\/p>\n

Tonight our family will huddle together in a pew. We will say Psalm 51. And then we will walk forward. We will look together into this crystal ball and see our future: dust. We will do this as a choice, knowing it might not be a choice next week, month, or year.<\/p>\n

We will practice being a miracle for one another, thankful that in several weeks the church again will pull back the curtain, will show us the future\u2014the whole<\/em> future this time.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The Rev. Dr. L. Roger Owens is associate professor of Christian spirituality and ministry at Pittsburgh Theological Seminary and teaches courses in the <\/em>MDiv<\/em><\/a>, <\/em>Doctor of Ministry<\/em><\/a>, and <\/em>Continuing Education<\/em><\/a> programs. Before coming to PTS he served urban and rural churches for eight years in North Carolina as co-pastor with his wife, Ginger. He has written multiple books including <\/em>The Shape of Participation: A Theology of Church Practices which was called \u201cthis decades best work in ecclesiology\u201d by <\/em>The Christian Century.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

For a few years, my middle child was afraid of Ash Wednesday. He\u2019d sit patiently through the homily, mumble along with Psalm 51 as best he could, but balk at the main event: the imposition of ashes. So he\u2019d stay behind in the pew while his brother, sister, and whichever parent wasn\u2019t leading worship filed…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":2517,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[5,7],"tags":[232,332,331,82],"series":[],"class_list":["post-2515","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-protestant-spirituality","category-theological-reflection","tag-ash-wednesday","tag-everything-happens-for-a-reason-and-other-lies-ive-loved","tag-kate-bowler","tag-lent"],"yoast_head":"\r\nFacing the Dust Together: What Kate Bowler\u2019s "Everything Happens for a Reason (And Other Lies I\u2019ve Loved)" Taught Me about Ash Wednesday - 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