Cruising into a “Sterling” Retirement
From the beginning of my ministry in 1985, my spouse, Dara, had warned me that I should plan to retire on June 30, 2021, should I live that long. As United Methodists, this would be the end of the appointment year after I had turned 67. Since she is a few years older than I, this would allow us to enjoy some years of leisure, travel, family time together, etc., before final residence in the columbarium at St. Paul’s UMC in Allison Park, Pa. We made it, and retired on the “prophesied” date.
The good news is that we had made sufficient financial plans to do so. The bad news is that my last act in ministry was having to guide a large, multi-staff church through a pandemic. When June 30, 2021, rolled around, St. Paul’s had weathered COVID-19 in excellent shape. And was I EVER ready to retire!
Keep Active, Busy, and Growing in Retirement
I have nothing bad to say about retirement. So if you are looking for horror stories about what you need to do to “retire well,” you may not find them here. My partner has been stupendous, both in finding her niche in the retired life and allowing me to experiment with mine.
We “program” how we will enjoy our time together, planning two or three trips each year to places like Myrtle Beach, Cape May, or to Louisville to spend time with our daughter and her family. We have taken two one-week cruises—one to New England, and one to Bermuda—with a second New England cruise planned for October of 2024 (we both love New England in the fall). We’ve spent two weeks at the Chautauqua Institute in New York. The first was in 2022 when I served as chaplain at the United Methodist House. This year we went on our own during week four of summer programming. One important lesson we have learned in retirement: don’t let moss grow on your “north side”; keep active, keep busy, keep growing!
Maintain Pastoral Disciplines You Enjoyed
We each have our personal agendas. Mine includes writing, photography, watching Great Courses videos purchased when they are on sale, dabbling in painting, and fussing with my guitar and coronet. I enjoy movies, especially the ones I know Dara won’t appreciate. I’ve written poems and several hymns, including one called “Peace Is Possible.” It will be featured this year as part of a “Peace Concert” on the afternoon of World Communion Sunday at First UMC, Pittsburgh. I’ve kept the discipline of studying the weekly texts of the Revised Common Lectionary and writing a sermon, which I publish to my blog at www.sterlings.org. Preaching was my favorite task of pastoring, so I figure, why quit now? And when invited to fill a pulpit, I’ve got a fresh sermon ready to go!
Care for Mind, Body, and Soul
Dara and I have a default agenda as well. On Monday evenings, we watch TV programs we never got to see while working and raising kids. Tuesday and Thursday evenings are reading nights, when we listen to quiet music together and read. Reading includes my bucket list goal of reading through Mortimer Adler’s “Great Books of the Western World.” Wednesday nights we watch PBS, including shows “Nature” and “NOVA.” Friday is date night, with Saturday and Sunday as toss-ups. When home, we attend Sunday worship at St. Paul’s UMC, the last church I served.
We use our Silver Sneakers membership at a local gym. We also take three-mile walks regularly, and ride our bikes—the paved trail at Moraine State Park being a favorite venue. I use a Bowflex machine in my study, religiously. Having slowly “pudged out” during the COVID era, I have been working with an app (MyNetDiary) to shed extra pounds. I’m down over 25 pounds (I’m trying to keep from beating Dara to the columbarium). One of our favorite activities on nice summer nights is cruising in my 2008 Mazda Miata GT with the top down. There’s nothing like it!
A Fulfilling Retirement Doesn’t Happen on Autopilot
My advice to you about retiring is have a plan and dive in with great expectations. Stay on a path of personal and spiritual growth, resisting the urge to “veg out.” A fulfilling retirement won’t happen on autopilot. If you find you need therapy to make the transition, GET it! If you are anxious about your finances, get a certified advisor, or use the resources of your Board of Pensions. If you have a partner and find retirement puts you into an unexpected relationship crisis, get couples counseling. This should be one of the most gratifying times of your life. Don’t let your change in status rob you of that. Resist the temptation to jump right back into ministry or other employment as a coping mechanism, unless you need the extra financial support, or you feel the genuine “tug” of the Holy Spirit toward new opportunities to serve.
Above all, be good to yourself!
The Rev. Dr. Jeffrey D. Sterling ’88/‘98 is an ordained elder in the Western Pennsylvania Annual Conference of The United Methodist Church. He retired from full-time appointed ministry in 2021.
This is the third in a series about “seasons of change.” Other stories include:
Starting well as a pastor in a new place (Aug. 11)
The mysterious and the manageable (Aug. 29)
Starting Seminary (Sept. 5)