Lynne Napoleon Bassett is the director of the Faith Forming Families Network at Pittsburgh Theological Seminary. This week, she reflects on how caregivers can lead children into the habits of gratitude we know to be essential in faith formation.
Forming Gratitude in Children’s Spirituality
As the Thanksgiving season of gratitude is upon us, we should pause and reflect, with gratitude, on the many graces that God has given us. The grace to draw close to Him, the grace to bring our prayers and petitions before Him, the grace to ask for forgiveness of our transgressions. How do we use these graces to cultivate an attitude of thankfulness in our children? Do they know that He’s extended these graces to them as well? Do we encourage our children to be mindful of the many blessings God gives to us?
1. Counting Blessings, Remembering God’s Past Movements
An old hymn tells us to, “Count our blessings, name them one by one.” Why does it say that, to count our blessings? The next line gives us that answer, “To see what the Lord hath done.” Counting blessings keeps us focused on all the wonderful things that God gives us, the many ways He is active and present in our daily lives. If we are focusing on the blessings of God, how much time and attention do we have to dwell in the negative, in the things we want but don’t have, in the loneliness of today, and the lack of hope for tomorrow? Recognizing God’s presence and the movement of the Holy Spirit in our lives is like opening a door to a rainbow. Once the door is opened, the light comes pouring in, leaving no room for darkness.
2. Modeling Gratitude, Practicing Together
How do we bring this to our children and grandchildren? We can model our gratitude by sharing with them all the things that God has done for us. We can share a child-appropriate struggle we are having and invite our children to pray with us, and for us, for God’s grace and mercy. Find time in busy schedules to share prayers and answered prayers. I have a friend who uses the drive to school to see how many blessings they can name during the journey. She’s had more than a few surprises by the blessings that her son names. These have included small tasks that mom didn’t think much about while she was doing them but were meaningful to her son, answers to prayers that her son prayed and she didn’t even know about, and evidence of her son’s growing sense of empathy for his friends and others in his life. She understands her son at a deeper level, and on that level they have forged a bond that centers on God.
3. Embracing Hands-On Practices
For those who are more hands-on, crafts for children this time of the year often include the classic handprint turkey. Whether created at school or at home, what about using a family time, perhaps over dinner, to add an “I’m thankful for the blessing of that God gave me” to each tail feather? Or making it a family thankfulness turkey, if that is okay with the turkey artist? In some way, writing things down helps them seem more real, like indelible ink permanently marking them down in time. Saving these over years can create a faith story that shows God’s work in the life of your family. When fears and doubt creep up on your children, use these as reminders of God’s faithfulness. For God’s “faithfulness will be your shield and your rampart. You will not fear the terror of night” Ps 91:4-5. You can show children how God showed up again and again when He was needed.
4. Sharing Our Own Faith in God’s Goodness
Lastly, remember that God wants to bless His children. As the writer of the gospel of Luke says, “So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. If you then know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!” Luke 11: 9-10, 13. Remind your children of what God wants to do for them. You have the opportunity to introduce God to your children, declare His love for them, and show them He has great things for them. Be grateful for that!
Lynne Napoleon Bassett is the director of the Faith Forming Families (F3) Network at PTS, which works in the spirit of the Rev. Fred Rogers ’62 to “build a neighborhood” around parents, caregivers, and children to support the spiritual and moral development of young people. She has worked at Pittsburgh Mercy, a person-centered, population-based, trauma-informed community health and wellness provider, as senior manager: mental health rehabilitation and justice informed services. She also served there as program administrator/supervisor of children’s outpatient services. As a judicial programs analyst with the Office of Children and Families in the Courts (Administrative Office of Pennsylvania Courts, Harrisburg) for a decade, Lynne provided direct support for Pennsylvania Court of Common Pleas judges and county children and youth administrators to minimize the length of time that children are in foster care and enhance the Dependency System. Her experience also includes roles at KidsVoice, Metamorphosis Foster Homes, Family Counseling and Advocacy Services, and The Open Door Drug and Alcohol Treatment Center. Lynne holds degrees from the University of Pittsburgh (M.S., applied development psychology) and Indiana University of Pennsylvania (B.A., psychology).
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