Pittsburgh Theological Seminary

Bridging the Word and the World

3/4 2016

Why does God hate me?

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why does god hate meA couple of months ago, the New York Times ran a fascinating article called “Googling for God.” In this piece, author Seth Stephens-Davidowitz explores recent trends in Google search data specifically related to questions people pose about God. Stephens-Davidowitz notes that the number one God-related question people ask on Google is, “Who created God?” Not surprisingly, number two is “Why does God allow suffering?” However, I was shocked and dismayed to see the question that came in at number three: “Why does God hate me?”

Stephens-Davidowitz then provides an even more troubling piece of information: “What is the most common word to complete the following question: Why did God make me ___? Number one, by far, is ‘ugly.’ The other sad answers in the top three are ‘gay’ and ‘black.’” Although the author of this article does not explicitly link “Why does God hate me?” and “Why did God make me ___?” I couldn’t help but wonder if there might be some connection between the two questions. After all, if you believe God made you “ugly,” it’s not a stretch to believe God hates you, too, since in our culture “ugly” is a very negative term that is used to denigrate people based, primarily, on their appearance. In the same way, given that those who identify as black or gay are often marginalized in our society—or even targeted for violence on the basis of those identities—it’s not hard to imagine that members of those groups might feel that God is, at best, indifferent to their plight, or, at worst, that God has hand-picked them to be oppressed and mistreated.

Reading this article made me deeply sad, because it made me realize just how many incorrect ideas about God are still out there, and how deeply those ideas are hurting people. Although the church certainly teaches that we are all sinners and have fallen short of God’s glory, it also fundamentally affirms that each one of us is created in the image of God and that through God’s grace we are loved unconditionally. Somehow it seems that this crucial message has gotten lost in the wider culture, because as the Google data show, people searching on the Internet for answers to their faith questions seem to assume that God is primarily a judgmental, capricious tyrant who selectively applies oppression and suffering to certain groups, or who makes some people “ugly” and others not.

The problem here is that it’s not God who is doing this labeling and excluding—it’s human beings. We are the ones who have created societies in which individuals are judged based on their physical appearance or on their membership in particular demographic groups, rather than on the content of their character or according to their unique gifts and skills. We—not God—are the ones who have decided that some are “in” and some are “out,” which is in direct contrast to the message we hear over and over again in Scripture: that God has come into the world to reconcile all people, through grace that is freely given to everyone. As the church, we are called to find new ways to spread the message of God’s grace and love far and wide, so that we might challenge and dismantle the erroneous theology that is causing people so much harm. My prayer is that one day, in the not-so-distant future, Google might report their top God-related searches as “Why does God care for me so much?” and “Why did God make me so beautiful and beloved?” May it be so.

The Rev. Dr. Leanna K. Fuller is assistant professor of pastoral care at Pittsburgh Theological Seminary and teaches in the MDiv Program. Her ministry experience includes serving as associate pastor of Oakland Christian Church in Suffolk, Va., where she coordinated youth ministry and Christian education programming. She writes regularly on pastoral care and counseling, pastoral theology, and congregational conflict.

Comments ( 79 )

    • That’s understandable, Jim. Tragedy and pain can be very isolating. I encourage you to reach out in whatever way you can (whether to a friend, a church community, or a professional) to get any support you might need.

    • You wrote your comment quite a while ago. I hope you are not feeling as isolated as you once were. And I pray that you know Jesus through the Comforter, His Holy Spirit – whom He promises will never leave nor forsake us. For me, the good thing about isolation is that it pushes me to know Jesus better. When I would walk down the crowded halls, He would say to me, “I know you feel alone but you’re not. I’m right here, so smile.”

  • The more I pray the worse my life becomes. If you only knew what I have been through… when will it be my season???????????????????????????????? W
    I NEVER ASKED TO BE BORN… I NEVER ASKED FOR ANY OF THIS… SO MY LIFE HAS TO BE COMPLETELY SATURATED WITH disappointment, depression, trauma, abuse, sickness – I keep praying but it gets worse

    • M – I am so sorry you are feeling so badly. It sounds like you are experiencing what St. John of the Cross called the “dark night of the soul” – a time when it seems that God is completely absent and does not hear our fervent prayers. I don’t have a good explanation for why God feels so far away sometimes, or why terrible things happen even when we are praying as hard as we can. I do believe that God hears our prayers, even when it seems no one is listening, and that God loves us and wishes the best for us always. I hope you will be able to find someone who can support you in this time of great sorrow (maybe a friend, a congregation, or a helping professional). Please know I will be keeping you in prayer.

      • Ya, nobody has an answer why God hates some of us. God is not a loving and caring God. Millions of people suffer and he does nothing. Period. He’s cruel.

      • I’ve been having “The dark night of the soul” since I died in 2005. Since I was brought back everything turns sour.
        My friends have left.
        No matter how much I pray the opposite happens. My world keeps becoming smaller. I’ve tried so hard.

        Can you tell me about the dark night of the soul or any good books?

    • ^^^ EVERY SINGLE BIT OF THIS!!! ^^^ Apparently, there is no “god”, period. If there were or if he cared a thing about any of us, our lives would be quite different. After all the @%(# I’ve been put through, the only reality that plays out is: There was no “god” when I was 5 years old; there was no “god” when I was a teenager; there was no “god” when I was in the military and there is no “god” now.

    • I believe it is the added stack of negative events. for me, there used to be good days and bad days. Slowly, there weren’t any good days left. It began only alright days and bad days. I started to question perhaps, karma or luck, as I have never been a seriously religious person. However, I felt I did everything I can, in fact, I was smart, i was kind sensitive, and welcoming. I then turned to a higher power, as if why do you like to punish me, the biggest question for me is “what did I do wrong?” And yet, it is not what we did wrong, and honestly I only write this message to make me feel a bit better. Maybe, if I wait for a long, long, long time, things might clear up. I engage myself in everything, change everything to make myself better, yet you can’t change the biggest things, like other people’s preferences, the will of nature, and the way we process negative feelings. Good luck to everyone, as no one deserves any bad days. No one deserves to cry daily. Step into the light.

  • Unfortunately even after this article I still believe that if God exist he hates me. Too many bad things have happened to me for me to believe otherwise.

    • Nellie, I understand why you would feel that way given all that you have been through. I can’t explain why such bad things happen to people in a world that God loves. My personal belief is that God loves all people and all of creation, even when it doesn’t seem that way – but I very much respect the fact that you believe differently based on your life experiences. I hope that you will be able to find the resources you need to seek healing and wholeness in your journey. I wish you peace and comfort during this difficult time.

    • That is contradictory to the way I was raised, but I agree with you. At 52 I have nothing to look back on but emotional pain, desperation, depression, loneliness, stress… this list goes on. It actually makes me hope there is no god (or gods) but rather, just randomness. I do not wish to believe in a deity (deities) that would choose to bless some and not others. It is as if my life is a joke, so yeah I hope there’s no god. And, I look forward to nonexistence. That’s the one good thing that WILL happen to me. Whether it’s next week or in another 52 years, it will, indeed, eventually end.

      • Hi ,I lived a life of hardship too. For some reasons, I don’t believe we should lose hope . God loves us. ..maybe you could talk about it more with me, if not I still hope you have a great day

      • To see from your perspective as well, but so much younger pains me. What I feel isn’t often an emotion that is caused from one event, and one that fades easily. it is many events that cause emotions that don’t go away. Honestly, the people I talk to don’t truly feel my pain, in fact, they make me feel more disappointed, more jealous, more self-aware. Where am I? i sit so much lower than the stars. I feel so much more different than what I thought I was.

  • I disagree when you claim humans created exclusions and labels. All the mainstream religions, the Holy men/Prophets have superiority complex. Women, people of color, gays, anyone different were treated like slaves and this is promoted in the divine scriptures. God created human along with human nature knowingly and willingly to torture some. People believe in God as a coping mechanism because deep down inside they know such entity does not exist and things never do get better. *$#* God, I hate him and he hates me.

  • But attraction is instinctual, not learned behavior like this article implies, and if God made us in his image, and some people are ugly while others are not, it is impossible to argue that isn’t his bidding.

  • I believe God hates me too, I have suffered with mental illness naturally and also brought on by tons of abuse, I cant seem to compleatly turn my life over I stumble almost every chance I get. I came tonight to go to a gsthering to honer Jesus death and feel like God threw me out I was sooooo uncomfortable and in sooo much pain physicaly too. i couldnt sit on the seat. This has happened on more than one occasion me trying to go to church feeling all tormented and. Here I sit out in the car while I wait for everone to get done for my ride home.

    • I am so sorry you are feeling this way, and that even a house of worship did not feel like a safe space for you to be. I encourage you to seek out any form of support you can find, particularly if you are feeling like you want to harm yourself or someone else. Some good places to look (especially if church feels too painful for you right now) would be in your local hospitals, community mental health centers, or counseling centers. You will be in my prayers.

    • Dear the forever lost child, if it is painful for you to sit through church, this could be a sign that you have a deeper spiritual warfare going on that you are not aware of. I would suggest praying quietly in a peaceful place and asking for The Holy Spirit to fill you with God’s grace and heal you and protect you from the enemy. I would also suggest talking to a priest.

  • God hates me show much as well. I’ve prayed and asked for forgiveness and grace but I never get an answer. Every time I pray things get worse for the last 7+ years my life has been a misery. I’m so suicidal, I’m dealing with pain and suffering on a daily basis. I feel like I’m being punished every day of my life. I’ve got to the stage when I ask God to end it for me even when I pray for that it doesn’t arrive. I just think I’m put on earth for God to torture.

    • It must be terribly painful to go through what you are experiencing, Graham. I am truly sorry that you are feeling this way, and that you have not been able to find any relief for your suffering. I am concerned for you, and would strongly encourage you to reach out to a helping professional – perhaps a counselor, a physician, or a pastor that you know – and ask for help. If you feel like you are in danger of hurting yourself, please go to your closest Emergency Room or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. You can find more resources on their website at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ I will be keeping you in my prayers.

    • Do you want to chat with me because I actually feel the same way . Hence ,why I am here. I think things may seem brighter soon. But for now I’m taking things one step -a time

    • I believe there is a Good God who loves you and cares about you. And a Devil who is trying to destroy you. You are in a war. Everyone go’s through the hills and valleys. I fell like God hates me sometimes, but it’s a Devils lie. There is a lot of unknown stuff going on. We don’t have the knowledge or understanding to see what’s going on. As simple as it can be. God is good and the Devil is bad. Faith is a choice to believe. Make a choice to believe in what you want in life. Start to speak it to yourself. As I speak to you I speak to myself. Our words are powerful. Don’t call yourself a looser. Call yourself a winner. Can’t you see the Devil working here. Stand up and fight for yourself. Be careful with your thoughts and the words out of your mouth. What you think, and what you speak is what your going to get. This is how we fight the Devil with positive thoughts and positive words found in the Bible.

  • OK I would have to say God hate us. If an infinite God can do anything created everything down to subatomic particles, stars, black holes and even the notion of time, dimension even the notion of good versus evil would not exist without his bidding. He made it like this. You can’t get something from nothing right? If I build a computer to run a specific spec or program it won’t magically overnight upgrade itself with new algorithms unless you place them there as a variable in the first place. I believe that this universe is to God what a television is the people, it’s just for entertainment purposes. He could give two f**** as long as we play by our rules that he give us, shit on our live’s daily just to spice things up (except for his favorite characters) then expect us to say thank you. We are just toys that got thrown away after the funs been had….even Satan had no say in his role. “But God sends these trials to see if we really love him or “how would we know pain or suffering if everything was perfect?” Well my answer to that question folks is we would because the same argument could be applied to God! Who has never died , FELT FEAR never feel pain, never sweat, never cried, never got sunburn, not even a papercut, NEVER HAD ANYTHING, ANYTHING, not go his way, NEVER EVEN HAD A BAD DAY, Everyday surrounded by TRILLIONS OF thousands of tons of jewels myriad of gold pearls food ,planets, people, friends, in a dimension of neverending bliss, is trying to give us a lesson in pain to prepare our minds for pleasure riiiiiiight. Just look at his kingdom description in revelation, the one about his throne in heaven not the one on earth. For somebody who doesn’t want us to take stock in material possessions sure as hell have way more than even the greediest human could ever acquire in a billion lifetimes. After all we are made in his image so we naturally crave deityhood. It just comes off to me as a universal case of do-as-i-say-not-as-i-do type of thing.

  • And to think that all i ever wanted from God was for him to bless a good man like me with a good wife and family that i still don’t have today unfortunately. God is very mean.

    • Lo and behold, I feel what you’re saying is true, I’m 22yrs old, from a born again family and starting to doubt God’s plan.long story short, there’s a girl I wanted, I prayed to God that she’s be my wife and for awhile it did indeed seem like we would be married but now she’s engaged to a different man. I don’t understand. Why would god tantalize me like this, he says “ask and ye recieve” but now it seems like hes’ really saying “ask and I promise then laugh” it hurts so much being lead to believe he’ll give you something good then have him rescind the promise.

    • You two are like a farmer who expected that God should sow his grain for him. If the farmer should not plow, not sow, and not reap, should he then curse God that he is hungry? And what of the martyrs that faced torture and death but maintained their faith in God? Did they accuse God of being mean or of tantalizing them?

      • To be fair the guy before you stated what seemed to be sowing into a relationship, and next regarding those Martys I’d argue their situation while worse in any conceivable way is not comparable due to what each person in this life goes through some people can suffer a cheating spouse and move on while others will be tormented with bitterness and all sorts of sorrow, I see it as the farmer who scattered the seeds some just got the break of being sown in good soil regardless of the environment they are in if they are essentially placed in great conditions they will grow, imagine a seed on a concrete road never to be moved but the place around it is perfect for it to grow but it’s not sown where it can grow, I feel for people like them rejection can be painful but I argue God can not give you a wife He might set everything up to be possible but He never forces His will on us in this way, I’ve been there I was deeply in love but it wasn’t mutual I was left for another and I am what supposedly she wanted but she chose otherwise and I admit it still bothers me, I learned that you can not expect God to give you a wife or to keep one for that matter, you have to just be the best person you can be and open up if you find someone your interested in and take note of anything similar to the ex ladies and if they are too material or success oriented (I really mean selfish) , beauty is fleeting and charm or niceness sweetness are deceptive but a woman who has good morals is worth your time, and trust me you’ll only fall in love with someone you actually like so don’t worry so much about the beauty is fleeting cause your going to be attracted to her just don’t lie to yourself about being greatly attracted to her personality when you don’t think she is at least attractive on some realistic level to you, no offense to people who feel ugly (girls tell me I’m ugly and handsome, physically, woman are crazy anyway, they can be a detriment to a man) so don’t be in a rush remember the world got ruined because of a man compromising for his woman, don’t compromise your happiness and sanity for a woman they are not worth it, nothing is without it your throwing yourself into fire and misery, I learned my lesson and I have had nothing but ultimately bad experiences with women in my life even outside of dating or whatever you want to call it words only mean what they are understood as anyway, hope you guys get past all that stuff and stop waiting on God to bring you a wife do it yourself and see how it goes. Praying without going out to do what you praise for won’t do nothing trust me! No offense but God kinda sits there looking waiting for you to try something it may or may not work, I just know from my own relationship with God I got to do the work (as per my human abilities to do so) in order to get anything never got a handout for nothing but idle words and discouraging statements like pray and read your bible (like any Christian who can read never read at least some part of the Bible and talked to God) people sometimes just speak without getting it, as for the whole thing with people during and being tortured for their faith no proof can be said that they always keep faith other than what is said and when we meet God I’m sure we will see the truth I hope I get to be with God in His temple but till then idk I’ll just keep suffering till I get over what ever is going on in life including my depression and loneliness and my lack of faith in Gods promises, I hope I get over all my little things and toughen up cause I hate life right now and I haven’t really enjoyed after being saved sense my first girlfriend I’m only 24 now and was saved 2009 got my first gf in 2012 and it was horrible experience and I tried again last year and this was even worse and I tried with others in between but nothing, who knows might never get married might never have kids with someone I will live with for the rest of my life, might die young might die old might be miserable forever might become happy today and forever more or a mix and match idk I just hope God will be more protective of my heart and mind but even then the Bible says guard your heart cause if you don’t we’ll then guess what your screwed cause that’s what’s going to make you look good in Gods eyes despite what Jesus did on the cross which sucks to me cause sometimes no matter how much you want to be good to others and forgive and all that jazz you just can’t seem to get past what your heart feels and thinks, I just want to love God again but I find it hard when I know he is ultimately in control it’s just the thought of that that makes it hurt cause how does my death and misery spiritually and as a whole person glorify his name, I’m terrified of the idea of becoming like Judis or like Cain or like that married couple who died in Acts I lament on the thought of being mocked in hell seeing the promises God had for me supposedly but for what ever reason I was made to be in capable even with the Holy Spirit to overcome the test and receive them supposedly I was supposed to be married like 5 times according to prophets and look at me now and it’s not from a lack of being open and trying this makes it even more difficult to trust God if His supposed prophets who I believe most must have been legit according to accurate and sometimes fulfilled prophecies. I think maybe I’m not good enough that maybe Jesus doesn’t like me because I don’t like being mistreated and desire him to defend me (not do bad things to people just open their eyes to stop being so abusing and evil) or maybe cause I have a porn/sex problem idk, I guess I’m too ugly spiritually while people who are also Christian can do more worse (as far as is fixable) and still come out on top and seem more favorable than me, I get depressed thinking about it, even just looking at my own self and the word it just confirms a conflict and for some reason the contradiction in the Bible to my actuality is too much not to ignore idk I’m just a person like everyone else I use to be super favored ex relationships though never could find a compatible woman as of yet regardless if I do as a man should

        • “woman are crazy anyway, they can be a detriment to a man”

          Yeah, well men are crazy and the sure can be a detriment to a woman. Men aren’t worth it either when it comes to a woman giving up her sanity etc. If all of your experiences with women are bad, than the problem lies with you, quit picking bad women, problem solved.

    • No . He’s just very patient. Jesus said he was coming soon . ..we have had to wait over 2016’s years for that arrival , what we think as being soon and God thinks as being soon is a lot different. But if you give glory to God and not disrespect him you’ll have forever. So you won’t even need to worry

  • God only loves and does for who he wants. People worship him and he spits in their face daily. That’s a fact. Ask the children who are repeatedly raped. Ask people who beg God for some relief and he does nothing. But yet child molesters, dope dealers and rapists get whatever they want. But a five year old little girl can beg God to stop being raped and he does nothing. Oh, ya, but God loves you!

  • I so relate to the comments. I am turning 51 in a few days and the only deep desire I have had Is to marry and have a child. I have prayed my whole life for this. I have tried my best to be obedient to God and serve him. We are suppose to trust that His plan for us is the best one. I can’t imagine being alone is His best plan for me. Then I look at my sister who is not a Christian and has a wonderful husband and two beautiful children. Please explain about this loving God??

    • As we can see, nobody has the answers to our pain and torture. This is God’s plan for us, period. If he loved us or we were part of the chosen, he’d do something but he does not. The bottom line is if you love somebody, you show it. You don’t play games and continue to let them suffer when they need you. People I love never have to question my love. Period. I don’t lie to them and tell them to have faith in my love and then continue to turn my back on them.

      • We Deserve a answer from our father as to his silence to our cries. Answers like why do you give us 60 years to get it right but satan gets a planet to rule , rape, and ruin our lives, with us under his whip for thousands of years? Havnt humanity suffered enough? Guess not. I just wish he would explain this to us not as a god but as a father,but good luck with that

    • Have you tried finding the amazing lady you want to marry . ? Sometimes God wants us to wait to be blessed sometimes he wants us to work to be blessed

  • I love God with all my heart. I want Him to be in my life but he keeps failing me. I trust only on him but does He even foe once think of me? I pray, i fast, i am born again but God hates me and want to dissapoint me everytime. I read His word n believe in it but nothing written there ever works for me. It is hard for me coz all my hope, trust n faith i put in Him but i guess he feel happy seeing me suffer. Why should i suffer if Jesus died for me?

    • God may laugh at the Wicked , not you . If you are keeping his word . You will be blessed do not only think about this life .when we will have forever. But no tbh it’s probably Satan holding you down from your true worth . Unfortunately evil exists not Just Jehovah ..

  • This is a sad case where misery does not love company, because it.’seems sadder to know that other people are feeling & suffering as I am. Sure, I’ve made mistakes or incorrect choices, but I am human . I basically do try to lead a good, moral life, follow the “Golden Rule”. Yet, I too firmly believe the more I pray, the worse things become in my life. I’m almost.52 & feel time running out st speed of light! So, I’ve S/w/variety of clergy, seeking the answer to why G-d seems to hate me so much?! I’m still waiting for the answer while trying to figure S god reason not to end my life. As per Dylan: @theanswer I’d blow in’ in the wind”, cause I still don’t know!

  • I too wonder where the loving God is. I am an incest survivor, have had ptsd/mdd, was abandoned by someone who was a lifeline to me, have been homeless and hospitalized, have no family as the abuse occurred in the family, and have been unable due to mental illness to integrate into society. I’ve been discriminated against and treated badly by many. I abused myself as a result of these experiences. I ask God to take me home ever day and know one day I will simply end it. I even had therapists abandon me. I have lived in housing that triggered my symptoms and my dreams are gone. I am middle aged now and have never had a bf. I am tired of life and religion is full of horse**** and false promises. I don’t see Jesus returning or a new heaven and earth or any justice, just worse and worse pain. I do pray for others as I am able but I am tired of everything. I take responsibility for my own errors but anyone who knows the pain of incest knows how it can devastate your life. I look at what others have and at the daily struggle I cover up and am sick of it all. Churches I found to be judgmental places. This is a world for the wicked and evil to thrive in, the kinder you are the more hell you’ll have. I”m sick of God and I’m sick of Christianity’s lies and bullshit. If there is a God he or she is fine with children being raped and tortured and sure as hell doesn’t give a loving plan to anyone I guess except the fake prosperity ministers and those who don’t give two shits about him. I’ve been tortured my entire life even to the point of having demons attack me and having him cruelly test me so he could break me down further. I have zero hope for my life. God destroyed it all and let satan torture me and I hate Christianity and its promises. If there is a God, he isn’t worth praying to. Good luck to all those suffering we all need it.

    • I’m open to talking to you if you want to. Some people may not understand but I do , I actually get it. I’ve been put through this Sometime in my life. I hope you receive All your blessings .have a great day

  • After reading all these comments, at least I can say I’m not alone. So many similar to what I am feeling and going through. My entire life has been a “dark night of the soul”. I have been abuse/neglected from the moment of my conception. No matter how I try to get away. If it’s not family, it’s a significant other, if it’s not that, it’s a coworker, or just some random person I happen to come into contact with. I have been ill most of my life. My youth was stolen from me. I have lost jobs (not because I did anything, but due to “downsizing” or the “economy”. I have been homeless. I have been poor my entire life, regardless of how hard I work. I have had Panic disorder and IBS since I was 18. I have been “alone” my entire life. I prayed and prayed for a husband and as it turns out, the one I got is a meth addict and now I can’t get rid of him. I even went to jail because I tried to defend myself when he was in an alcohol and drug fueled rage. I have been made fun of and laughed at. I have never felt love or security in my life. EVER. Now I have just recently been diagnosed with a brain tumor. THAT DID IT. I just had to let God go. The more I pray, the worse it gets. I have been “walking in the desert” for 45 years. Nothing good has ever happened to me. Even the smallest of tasks are difficult. I’m never going to be allowed to be at peace. All hope is lost, and no one can help. Even knowing you all are suffering too, I am still alone. Obviously we are not going to Heaven, unless it’s for God to continue to use us as whipping posts. So maybe wherever we end up, we’ll end up together at least.

  • God may love us but that doesn’t end age discrimination in seeking employment. It doesn’t stop a “Christian” governor from making an enemies list of people who will never get a state job. It doesn’t stop academia from using “diversity” to refuse you and hire others of less experience and education. It doesn’t quell the pain of constant humiliation oir feeling one’s talents from atrophying. About every other day now I think dead is better.

  • I Dont Really Know What To Say About This.I Thought Am The Only One Passing Thru Such A Terrible Thing.But I 100 Percent Believe The Comment That Says The Kinder You Are The Worst You Suffer

  • “The problem here is that it’s not God who is doing this labeling and excluding—it’s human beings. We are the ones who have created societies in which individuals are judged based on their physical appearance or on their membership in particular demographic groups, rather than on the content of their character or according to their unique gifts and skills.”
    Disagree with the first statement since it is God that taught his children to differentiate between beauty and ugliness by making flowers beautiful and the desert ugly to look at. But God never taught us to destroy deserts or not use them to our benefits, it is humans who decided to exclude ugly creations out of their world when in practice, ugliness can be more useful than beauty.

  • Reading through all these comments is heartbreaking, and I searched this for the same reason as everyone else – suffering. Praying and hoping for something to change, a lifetime of sadness and people who are cruel and unjust. Feeling like some people just get everything their whole life – a nice family who loves them, then their own family, a normal good husband/wife and kids, a good job, nice friends and then on top of it, God blesses them even more. I don’t know why.

    I was thinking while reading this, some people do have an advantage, but, what if the point is to start to live our lives for other people. What if the way out is thinking about what we can do for other people and what WE can do for God, instead of only what he can do for us? It is supposed to be a relationship. Seems pretty one sided if we want to take from him but never give. He wants love too. There are things he wants accomplished on this earth just like we want things in our lives. “Seek first the kingdom of heaven.” We want him to do for us, well, he also wants us to do for him. We are supposed to be his servants.

    What if all the people in this world who were alone, depressed, abused, etc…. spent time reaching out to others instead of only waiting and crying for someone to reach out to them, or for something to “happen”? If you ask God what you can do for him, the answer is almost always to help others. Sometimes it is prophecy/study and then sharing that. Especially in these days. If more people were asking God what they can do for him, then wouldn’t more people be helping YOU? Loving YOU? Who is responsible to do this? We all are, even us who are suffering.

    Then wouldn’t it be more likely that 2 people who needed a friend would find each other? Should we be upset that others are happy? We don’t know what they have been through in the past, or will go through in the future. I was just thinking, maybe, part of being blessed by the Lord, starts with blessing others. You could be the answer to another persons prayers, and in doing so, gain more joy in your own life. I understand so many of us struggle with being shy, being afraid because we have been hurt and betrayed so many times, feeling uncomfortable around new people etc… I have this problem too. I am now at the point where I have no friends and no family (but one child). I finally walked away from the last few people I had, because they are so toxic and abusive. I want to be around healthy, kind, loving people who love the Lord and try to behave how he says to. Not people who project, manipulate, are full of rage. I am afraid to try to meet people though, I am shy and a lifetime of emotional, psychological and verbal abuse has beat me down and taken my confidence. The Lord will start to give it back to you. It isn’t overnight but he will. You didn’t lose it overnight either. I am still to afraid to go out and meet people, but, I know I can ask the Lord all day to magically give me friends, but what I need to ask him for is confidence and courage.

    I don’t know what to do, but I think it starts with getting over my fears and thinking more about other people and how I can help them, instead of how miserable and unfair my life has been. I think the Lord blesses this attitude. I am going to try it. I also believe that he allows trials and they either strengthen us and improve our character, or they can destroy us. Think of it this way – the devil wants your trials to destroy you and cause you to turn away from God, and from truth, and God wants you to overcome, seek him and gain eternal rewards. Who do you want to side with? The one who loves you and is rooting for you to win, or the one who hates you and is rooting for you to fail? I don’t know why we have to suffer and why we have to be here, but I know God is real and I know he is good, and that is why Jesus said you have to become like a little child to enter heaven, because children trust and love, even when they don’t have all the answers.

    God bless you all. If I could meet or be with any of you, I would be your friend, and I love you. May the Lord bless and protect all who read this. That reminds me, “you have not because you ask not” – Jesus. Through all my life of suffering, I am currently suffering the most I ever have, and it is easier than in the past because, this time I realized to ask the Lord regularly for these things: strength, endurance, peace, joy, patience, faith, love, hope, understanding and wisdom.

    You can ask the Lord for a job, money, a spouse, friends, etc… .but ALSO ask him for the above things. Keep doing it day after day, and one day you will think “my life is awful by anyone’s standards, why do I feel so happy right now!?” Then you will realize, oh yes, I have been asking the Lord not only to change my situation, but for the things I need to endure it. You will get sad again, and the pain will return, but it will be less often, and more bearable. Please try asking him for those things, daily. Don’t let go of the one thing that can keep you going: Jesus……he never lets go of you. Please search out people who need someone to encourage them. I wish more people did that, and then maybe I would have at least one person I could count on in addition to Jesus. I am going to seek first the kingdom of heaven, and trust that then all those things will be added to me. I am going to spend my time that I am not spending with friends and family (because I don’t have any) trying to help, love and encourage people who are as sad as I am, and maybe then I won’t be so sad.

    If you made it this far and think, hum, she may have a point, then also please pray and seek more truth, because the time is coming for the final days. You don’t want to be far away from God anytime, but especially not then. My life actually became so terrible because I had dreams from the Lord about the last days, and when I tried to share with the people I know, they became enraged. You have seen this irrational hatred in the Bible. It is here now too. Maybe, your life isn’t hard because God hates you, maybe it is hard because the devil knows God has plans for you, and he wants to do everything to keep you away from being saved, everything to prevent you from doing the Lords work and everything to keep you from being used by God to help bring joy and peace to others. Maybe it is the devil who hates you, not God. Not maybe, it is. He wants to keep you from God, heaven, rewards, blessing others. Don’t let him steal all God has for you! God bless you!

    • Wow! This was awesome and I really needed this right now. I’ve been feeling so down and alone for YEARS and I’m really trying to hold on to some hope and believe God has plans to lift me up/help me and not harm me. It’s hard, but everything you said makes sense and spoke to my heart. I thank Jesus for placing these words in you to share with us…because they really and truly spoke to me.

      I also pray that everything gets better for you and you can overcome your fears and insecurities. Keep on pushing, praying, believing, and putting your faith in the Almighty Father. Again thank you for these words.

  • Why did god make me a boy? Or why did he give me this personality to crave it? Who knows. I prayed everyday but still nothing. He likes seeing me suffer I guess. That’s like putting food in front of a hungry dog and saying don’t eat it.

  • Being ugly is the most hurtful thing on earth. It leaves you wondering why God created you. It hurts. And God doesnt answer ur prayers if you are ugly. Depressed

    • I lost my looks , I believe mostly due to drugs I “had to take” it’s sad seeing my pictures as a kid and realizing I don’t look that way anyMore

  • I really wonder sometimes why didn’t God make a very good man like me meet a good woman to have a family with instead of still being Single And Alone today which it wasn’t my choice at all either. It is just too very bad that most of the women of today are Nothing at all like the women in the old days were since it was definitely very easy meeting a good woman back then with No Trouble at all. Women today unfortunately have certainly Changed since then which is very sad.

    • Yeah, well I’ve got news for you, the men of today have changed and are immoral, selfish and users. It’s hard to meet a good man these days.

  • Well I believe in God and I got saved around 5 but then I started to doubt I was saved because I started having feeling of wanting to become a girl and I’m still attracted to girls as well but my question is if I were to become a girl was I ever saved at all? I don’t like the fact I want to be a girl because I know its a sin but I cant help it .

  • Interesting that this article mentions homosexuality as a reason why people think God hates them, and then has the audacity to say that the reason for this is human cruelty. Correct me if I am wrong here, but probably one of the BIGGEST reasons for homophobia in our society (and others) is RELIGION!

  • It sounds like people are blaming God for everything just because he is the creator. Jesus Christ was perfect and held up the sins of the world before he did making him a man of sin who never sinned. Besides blaming god for everything what have anybody done to turn they’re own life around ? It’s easy to sit and point fingers instead of working towards a sunny day. Faith without works is dead. My life isn’t perfect. I suffer with low self esteem, I’ve asked god why numerous times but looking at the bigger picture he has blessed me more times that I can know. I’ve put myself in a lot of bad situations and I came out is then without a scratch. I could be dead right now and often times I wish I were just because my life isn’t a certain way or I don’t think I’m pretty. But I’m just complaining. I don’t work towards a better life. He might just be waiting on ME and his hand will follow once I start. Look at yourselves. We aren’t worthy of such grace. You can’t hold doubt and hate in your heart and have your hand out. The enemy feeds off us turning away fRom god. Hell was never for us. If we go it’s because we put ourselves there. God can’t be to blame. As much as I can hate myself or ask him why I can never deny my father. He knows what’s in our minds so don’t sit here and complain about your problems like you’ve lived the prefect life and never sinned. Our wants and what we need are different and god knows what we need. I’m disgusted by some of the comments I’m reading . I don’t blame god because it sounds like a bunch of spoiled kids. Do something different in your life and ask god for his guidance that’s your doing the right thing.

  • God has left me in the dessert. No one wants me after I lost my job of 14 years. I’m over 50 and I can tell what they are all thinking. God is not with me on these interviews
    He loves to watch me fail. He laughs at me. He must get a kick out of seeing my time wasted. I have forgiven my enemies. That is what Jesus wants me to do. But where is God now?

  • God hates me a lot. Since 1999 after suffering a severe spinal injury I’ve had 19 major surgeries. I had 9 back surgeries, both hips replaced, a knee replaced, several shoulder operations and a total shoulder replacement. I also had two heart attacks. I was a Shipping worker for Company X, and I gave that place 20 years of impeccable service, starting there when I was 18 years old. After I injured myself and couldn’t work anymore, I found out I was chosen to become the lab’s new Traffic Specialist, which would have been a $15,000. annual pay raise. I lost that, along with 20 years of service. The back surgeons I went to all were paid off by Company X, and they changed their notes to say I didn’t need back surgery, causing me to go nine months without getting surgery. This caused permanent, irreversible spinal nerve damage to develop and make me disabled for the rest of my life. I was terminated from Company X and put on Disability. I filed a workers compensation lawsuit against Company X because I fell off the dock and tore two discs in my lumbar spine. My attorneys dragged my case out ten years, hoping I would suffer a third heart attack and die. God was letting all these things being done to me, one after another for all these years. Now, my life is ruined, I am in constant pain 24/7 needing to have a spinal cord stimulator surgically implanted on my spinal cord. Yes, God hates me with a passion. He blessed my crooked doctors, and he blessed my crooked attorneys who were paid off. My attorneys destroyed all of my spinal images that proved how severe my injury was, and instead they settled for a much lesser amount, but only acknowledging my back injury as being a ”strain”. This is how I was screwed by even my attorneys, and God let it all happen. God could have kept these people honest and get me a decent settlement. Better yet, God could have kept the first back surgeon I saw honest and operate on me before permanent spinal nerve damage developed. Had I been operated on nine months earlier, I wouldn’t be disabled now. But, because these surgeons were paid off, they lied and they all fluffed me off, dragging my situation out for almost a year before I finally had surgery. But, it was too late and the nerve damage became permanent. None of this had to happen, if God loved me, but He hates me!!!

  • At age 7, I can remember fighting angels at night. Just like Jacob. I woke each morning in a sweat. I was exhausted. My life was hard every day and school was an awful experience of fights and rejection. I was rejected by my father who beat me and my family rejected me as well. The only exception was my grandmother who taught me the value of never giving up and the love of food. I became a chef and stayed in kitchens until I was 40 years old. My days were filled with unending work. I knew God placed every roadblock imaginable in front of me. No promotions. No relief from financial burden. No relief from a sick marriage. No acceptance from my family and no friends. No amount of college or hard work took the 10 ton Rick off my shoulders. I talked to God and frankly I heard his voice. I am not delusional. I asked for relief and God said no. God told me he didn’t like me. I am not kidding.

    Then when I turned 56 things suddenly changed in a period of one week. The 10 ton rock was gone and God said to me that I have had enough pain and God told me I was humble enough to be free. He gave me several talents but also told me that I was not special. God did not give me any more explanation than that. So, 50 years of suffering was what God gave me. I feel better now and I’m not mad at God. I feel a certain sense of peace each day. I also think God’s will set me to accept death.
    I think God creates beings he likes and doesn’t like. He evaluates and sets us free for reasons or no reasons. No one ever prepared me for what God really is. God is not a good God. He is like us but has tremendous power. He can multitask and attend to all living beings. God is without religion. He applies pain and relief to all as he sees fit.

  • God hates humans. We r created in his image so he must be uglier than sin. He must HATE UGLY people because he does nothing to help no matter how much we begged him he ignores UGLY people all the time most of us want to die because we are so UGLY and some do. It is called SUICIDE. if god loved me he wouldn’t let it happen. But he does because he is evil. Your book of short stories tells you that. God is good and evil the story says but it is wrong. He is so EVIL. He is also a liar. Don’t eat the fruit for surly you will die. Did anyone die???? Because god is a lying #)!($. %)#@ god and +#)! christ.

  • Your life story is interesting. Some truth and some lies. It does make sense that hard things in life are like a purification process. Like gold and fire. Ron 8:28 says all things work for our good. The process and outcome work for your good. You are in the hand of God. No one is going to take you out. What do you want to change in your life? Speak to your Mountain and command it to be cast into the sea. Leave your emotions out. Walk in faith and not by site. What you say is what you get. Guard your mouth. Be positive all the time. Keep putting yourself, your life, and all situations in Gods hands. He will work it all out for you. You can’t loose when your a winner. Your a winner. Don’t believe anything else.

  • I also feel the same pain that you guys are going through. Throughout my life I have never experienced happiness, raised in poverty and sometimes hardly nothing to eat in a day bt I believed everything was to change when I grew up. Right now it’s even worse …no stable …job salary does not even last two days it’s gone…I have been praying hard to God to remember me but all he gives me is his back. I came to realise that God has his special people that were well created of whom he has eliminated sufferings and to others like me suffering is the main topic of each day….I ve reached a point where my heart cannot take it anymore and I ask him to relieve me from all this and take me away but instead he makes each day for me unbearable to live. I ask him to forgive me for everything and especially my mistake of being born poor especially in Africa where everything is nothing it’s all darkness around you where only you will understand the real meaning of agony and pain

  • Why does that god hate me so much..have no freakin idea.all of the ppl who hurt me and continue hurting..live wonderful lives..god is not good…he favors the evil..while the good and innocent suffer.i hate him.its like he just refuses to see me happy..if he is such a good god..why do the innocent/good ppl suffer?? He allows it..then tells us to have faith in him…$*^@ that

  • I think God only loves certain people. And i am not one. I have prayed and prayed and prayed nothing ever gets answered. It is to the point I am afraid to pray for others afaid something bad will hapoen to them because I prayed. If God truly loves and cares for us then why can he not answer 1 prayer we ask in his name. I grew up in church so i pray the way I was taught. But nothing!!!!

  • So I googled, “Why does God hate people?” and came across a response from a reverend and then I read all the following comments. I googled the question in the first place because I was completely discouraged and giving up on God as a loving Father. It seems like the comments can be divided into two groups: 1- those who believe that God is against them, no matter what they pray, do or believe. 2- those who believe that God can be for you only if you are doing something – for him or others.
    One particular comment that struck me was: 222 says, “I was thinking while reading this, some people do have an advantage, but, what if the point is to start to live our lives for other people. What if the way out is thinking about what we can do for other people and what WE can do for God, instead of only what he can do for us? It is supposed to be a relationship. Seems pretty one sided if we want to take from him but never give. He wants love too. There are things he wants accomplished on this earth just like we want things in our lives. “Seek first the kingdom of heaven.” We want him to do for us, well, he also wants us to do for him. We are supposed to be his servants.”
    In my head, it sounds like those who are greatly discouraged, pray and pray. But God does not answer their prayers and it seems that things may even become worse. Therefore, they feel God not only doesn’t love them, he actually hates them.
    Person 222, says that it’s not what God can do for us, but it’s what we can do for God. Therefore, if I want to feel love, I must give love – or whatever else it is that my heart feels desperate for. I must give it first.
    How to reconcile both viewpoints? In my head, I think it is important not to assume that whose who are greatly discouraged are not trying to “believe and do” those things that God desires – that is – to be his servants seeking his kingdom. My assumption might be that they actually are trying to “believe and do” his will and continue to seek him in prayer for relief from suffering.
    It is very hard to reconcile a belief about an all powerful God allowing continued suffering for those who are seeking him for relief for that suffering. If we believe he hears us than why does it seem he ignores us or turns his back on us? That is a most discouraging place to be in. It is why many who responded with this deep hurt, desire death.
    Hebrews 11:6 says “ But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him”
    It certainly seems that almost every commenter has faith that God is. However, many commenters do not have faith that he is a rewarder because they have sought him, and he did not reward them – being that he did not answer their prayers.
    That being said – these people cannot “please God” according to this scripture because they don’t believe he will reward them – because he hasn’t. Therefore, God must hate them after all.
    Well, what does it mean to “please God”. I think it means to make God happy. In the sense that I make God happy when I come to him and trust him – no matter what happens. I will trust that he is a keeper of his word and sees the bigger picture that he is building in us.

    When I get discouraged, I am often reminded of the man Jesus healed, who was blind since birth. John 9:1-12. This blind man was forced to be a beggar, rejected by all including his family and “the religious”. In the end, when the man saw Jesus, who had healed him, he believed in him and worshipped him.
    What does this event tell me about God and the reconciliation of “believing and doing”?
    This event tells me that God knows and allows our circumstances. This event tells me that some people suffer exceedingly through no fault of their own. This event tells me that those who suffer externally are often severely rejected by others as well. This event tells me that the work of Jesus had all ready been accomplished in this man’s heart. Why? Because when he saw Jesus, the man received him and worshipped him – not as a God who hated him and allowed all his suffering – but he saw Jesus as a God who had been with him through all his suffering.

    So again, to reconcile the idea that yes – it is important to love, reach out, forgive, be generous, work for, serve, etc God and others – – and that yes, we can do these things and still feel that God is against us and continues to allow our suffering — What is the reconciliation? What is the solution?

    Maybe the reconciliation or solution is in being “okay” with what is. Like the man who was blind since birth. I make God happy “please him” and bring peace to my soul when I release it all to him and say to God, “It is okay. I do not understand what You are doing or why, but I will trust You anyways. Life is short and You have not forgotten nor forsaken me. If you answer my prayers, I will believe that you love me; but if you do not answer my prayers, I will believe that you love me. You Lord, know the whole picture. Life is but a breath and it is gone. I cannot keep myself in faith, but You Lord, abide faithful and I will trust You. If I am like the blind beggar, than so be it. I look forward to your coming and I will rest in you

  • I was emotionally and sexually abused as a child. At age 18 I developed Panic disorder and Irritable Bowel Syndrome. I was born ugly, ungifted, unloved, and unwanted. I have been poor all my life. When I thought it was finally my turn to be happy, my husband turned out to be an abusive meth addict. Bad things happen to me all the time. Recently I was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor. They did a craniotomy to remove part of it. All my life, I have prayed, tried to be a good person, tried to be a good citizen, followed the rules and the laws, worked hard to try to better myself. All for naught. I’m now 46 years old and no better off than the day I was born. DOES GOD LOVE ME??? I’D BE A FOOL TO BELIEVE SO.

  • #%*! god, whether or not it created us to give each other grief or not it still created disease death and all emotion if you want to go into it with chemical reactions. God is a tyrant and when we all die it is a given responsibility to usurp This trash from the throne to create peace for all not just for those that don’t ‘fall short of the glory of God’. God will be destroyed.

  • If I were to construct a God I would furnish Him with some way and qualities and characteristics which the Present lacks. He would not stoop to ask for any man’s compliments, praises, flatteries; and He would be far above exacting them. I would have Him as self-respecting as the better sort of man in these regards.
    He would not be a merchant, a trader. He would not buy these things. He would not sell, or offer to sell, temporary benefits of the joys of eternity for the product called worship. I would have Him as dignified as the better sort of man in this regard.
    He would value no love but the love born of kindnesses conferred; not that born of benevolences contracted for. Repentance in a man’s heart for a wrong done would cancel and annul that sin; and no verbal prayers for forgiveness be required or desired or expected of that man.
    In His Bible there would be no Unforgiveable Sin. He would recognize in Himself the Author and Inventor of Sin and Author and Inventor of the Vehicle and Appliances for its commission; and would place the whole responsibility where it would of right belong: upon Himself, the only Sinner.
    He would not be a jealous God–a trait so small that even men despise it in each other.
    He would not boast.
    He would keep private Hs admirations of Himself; He would regard self-praise as unbecoming the dignity of his position.
    He would not have the spirit of vengeance in His heart. Then it would not issue from His lips.
    There would not be any hell–except the one we live in from the cradle to the grave.
    There would not be any heaven–the kind described in the world’s Bibles.
    He would spend some of His eternities in trying to forgive Himself for making man unhappy when he could have made him happy with the same effort and he would spend the rest of them in studying astronomy.
    – Mark Twain’s Notebook

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