May 27, 2023, was the 12th anniversary of the death of my paternal grandfather, the Rev. Raymond Troutman. He died almost exactly a year after I was ordained, which means I’ve been a minister for 13 years. Both periods of time are hard to believe.
Granddad served Moravian churches in North Carolina, Florida, Ohio, and Pennsylvania during his 37 years of full-time ministry. He retired, then became a part-time minister for another 12 years until his death. In this final role, he was the minister of visitation, which meant he spent a lot of time with the elderly church members.
Calvary Moravian Church in Kernersville, N.C. would charter a bus for the short drive to Old Salem, and Granddad would prep the group for the tour of the historic community over the PA system. He knew a lot about Moravian history, but I’m sure he went off script. Jovial and a little corny, he was in his element. On a recent trip to Disney World with my kids, we had a bus driver to the Magic Kingdom. This man cracked, “Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it!” Granddad would have loved that.
Part of the sadness of his death is that he never met my kids. He would have been a wonderful great-grandfather—the king of knock-knock jokes and ice-cream cones.
Granddad once pastored a church near Orlando. He and Gee, his first wife, had season tickets to the Magic Kingdom. (Of course he did!) My dad told me that Granddad was not a fan of roller coasters but he loved “It’s a Small World.” When Dad shared this, I laughed out loud—so fitting!
During this Disney ride, passengers aboard a boat are pulled very slowly through shallow water past depictions of countries on each of the seven continents. Dolls are dressed in native attire of dozens of world cultures. The song “It’s a Small World” blares over the speakers, always the same tune, but in different languages as you travel the tiny replica of the world. I found the ride to be pretty boring as a 10-year-old, but endearing 30 years later as a parent. Knowing Granddad, he sang along the entire ride, and whistled the tune for weeks afterward.
A couple of years after Granddad’s death, I started a friendship with the writer Brian Doyle. Brian was editor of Portland Magazine, which published creative nonfiction with a spiritual bent—exactly the kind of thing I was trying to write. Brian never accepted any of my work for publication; he took an interest in me. He called me “another teammate in the work” of writing and added, “I figure we are all a big chortling inky clan.”
Brian also died on May 27, six years after Granddad. It’s a small world after all.
Both men had loud laughs and both loved to laugh with abandon, including at their own jokes. Both loved children and both believed in life after life. I think of both of them year-round, especially when I laugh with the children I most love.
This year as the sun set on May 27, I lay beside my youngest in her bed. She sighed, “Good night to all the world.” Both Granddad and Brian would have loved that.
The Rev. Andrew Taylor-Troutman is the pastor and head of staff at Chapel in the Pines PC in Chapel Hill, N.C., and a student in the PTS Doctor of Ministry in Creative Writing and Public Theology program.